As a woman blossoming on her path, I surround myself with other women on the same journey. We go inside ourselves to clear the clutter so we can further expand our consciousness; to know more and to love more. During this growth process it’s natural to desire that others join us on this beautiful journey because it is what we have always done. Within our history are stories that tell of women coming together in tribes, red tents and clans. These women connected and supported one another through life’s tribulations.
On the flip side, what stories are told of men? Traditionally they are tales of thrones, battles and other acts of machismo. Men participate in acts of competition more often than those of collaboration. They fight off life’s adversities to avoid feeling what is required to go through them.
It is known that in our essence, we are the same, divinely sourced by love. When comparing the two sexes through evolution, doesn’t it seem as if men have traveled further from our Source? Time and space have shaped both sexes over the millennia into that which we are today. The history, both divine and circumstantial, lives in us at a cellular level. It cannot be denied.
As of late, more and more people are waking up to notice the earth’s state of dis-ease and choosing personal transformation with the intention of changing the trajectory of our fate. It could be said that women have had a head start in this current shift toward harmony. We are blessed that those before us did not stray far from Source. From that perspective, why are enlightened women insisting on sharing life with a man living “at the same level” as she? Is that even realistic?
I had the pleasure of sitting down with Jim Sharon, Ed.D., who is a licensed psychologist, counselor and relationship coach. Dr. Sharon compiled and edited Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives: Defining Moments, 40 transparent stories of transformational events in the authors’ lives. He was also the founder and coordinator of Whole Man Expo, an annual event held in the Denver area to foster enlightened masculinity. And, most recently, Dr. Sharon and his wife wrote Secrets of a Soulful Marriage: Creating and Sustaining a Loving, Sacred Relationship (to learn more about Dr. Sharon and his work, you can visit his website here).
In my time with Jim, I very much felt his intuitiveness and was eager to get into the heads and hearts of the male species… enlightened or not. Our conversation began with an agreed upon acknowledgment: both men and women are unified through love and men have more layers to move through during their evolutionary process.
He communicated that men under the age of 30 are more inclined to be in touch with their spirituality, which is proof that the shift is indeed in motion. He also indicated that men in their 60s and 70s are mellowing out. So, for the ladies looking for the enlightened man, there are the pools to fish from, I’m kidding! We can’t leave three decades of men in the dust. Besides, there are so many of them working on “being softer.”
That is the point, ladies. Men and women alike are at different places along the path. And for those of us who are further along, we are not exempt from displaying compassion and love. Notice I used the word “display.” That’s a verb, an action word. I see so many women expressing (from their hearts) compassion or others and that’s where it ends. It is slowing the planetary shift toward harmony. As evolved women, leaders on the path, I feel it is our obligation to turn around and extend the proverbial hand of love. Of course, the person you are reaching to must be willing to receive your gift.
Dr. Sharon revealed the hurdles men are confronted by when a woman offers her light to him. They do not want to appear weak or helpless. Men resist surrendering themselves. Now before judging, remember this behavior is in their nature just as nurturing is our instinct. Men have been warriors since the beginning of time. Imagine the reprogramming that is and has been taking place. It is undeniable that both patience and acceptance are required at this current time in history.
Ladies, you know the depth and width of your power. Be aware of how it must occur for a man. Jim shared that when he first met his wife, he declared, “Women are oceanic!” That resonated with me. Yes, we are! Just as we expect men with power to be responsible with it, so must we. While not designed for destruction, our being and love are potent! As we expand, let us be mindful of who energetically gets pulled in and possibly even neglected. If there is a primary man in your life, throw him a life preserver. Of course, it is important the fella sets aside his ego and grabs hold.
“Mutual accommodation” is Jim’s advice for the woman seeking the enlightened man. Be willing to take down your walls, be vulnerable and invite him to do the same. Discard the male key attributes checklist from which you measure because he can sense your discernment. Allow him to show up in all his messy manliness. Permit yourself to show up in your fickle feminine loving light. Both sexes must be flexible and move with the flow of the Universe. Resisting the dance of exploration and discovery only complicates and prevents the evolutionary process.
When women and men alike can authentically show up exactly as they are and where they are on the path and be accepted, we can more precisely aim for a peaceful and harmonious planet. Two is better than one. There is no “I” in team. We must end the fears around deeply connecting with another. Thriving relationships are necessary for our success as humans. Who are the men, once rejected, you are now willing to allow back into your heart?