The ManKind Project first showed up on my radar in 2013 when I was searching for a men’s group dedicated to expanding enlightenment within their community. As a woman committed to her own personal growth and has been since 1997, I wanted to help my husband find a tribe for himself.
Much of my transformation occurred in a space devoted to and held by women. After reading The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong last year, it was revealed to me that I was expecting my husband to try on and practice the learning I brought home. It was an innocent, yet damaging mistake to require my husband to behave like a woman. In my mind, what I was learning was good for any human being, regardless of sex. What a revelation to really get that men and women are different for so many more reasons than simply our body parts!
It was in April 2017 that my dear Thomas put himself in the New Warrior Training Adventure with the local ManKind Project. Their purpose with this flagship program is to help men show up and live in extraordinary ways. They have set out to prove that emotionally mature, powerful, compassionate and purpose driven men can heal some of our society’s deepest wounds. “Men are hungry to make a difference. Their brilliance is often buried under years of harmful beliefs and behaviors that get in the way of them showing up with integrity, compassion, and authenticity.”
What an exciting day it was to welcome this transformed man home on Sunday evening after his NWTA weekend. He carried himself with a calm certainty about who he was as a man among men. It was incredible to be a woman in that space! It felt right.
Of course, as we got settled back into our routine, that brilliance became smudged by the classic stresses that accompany work and home life. I found myself being cynical and declaring the program hadn’t worked. Which, of course, sent Thomas to a dark place of frustration and shame. My negativity propelled him right back to a place of unworthiness and being less than. Fear is so destructive.
Fortunately, my period of obstinance was short-lived and skills of grace and compassion were reactivated. I could remember learning takes time and space to firmly root the new ways of being. As the feminine presence in our marriage, it was my duty to energetically create the environment for my male counterpart to expand into his authentic self that emerged after having sloughed off 48-years of old, ineffective male programming.
Like women in their own tribes, these men stay connected long term in their communities to remain empowered in their mission and continue developing leadership mastery. What a blessing to have these big-hearted warriors in our lives to practice emotional authenticity and personal responsibility! And what an even bigger gift for our society to have access to people, programs and communities dedicated to ending the longest running war in history. Harmony shall be restored between the sexes.